Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Im part way to drunk.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
