Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
