Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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