butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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