I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
