toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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