wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My penis needs a shock collar
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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