I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Randomize
