And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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