i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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