can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Randomize
