@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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