Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
