I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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