what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
