i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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