Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
