Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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