We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize