blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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