We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
