just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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