Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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