I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
