I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
