If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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