i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
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You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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