Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
what day is it and did you see me today?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
This baby is an asshole
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
