he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
