I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
