do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
