If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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