I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
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We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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