Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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