No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
