apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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