Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
