You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize