Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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