i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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