apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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