i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I love you. Go after that dick
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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