I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
