I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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