this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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