Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
