Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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