We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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