we're chasing vodka with high fives
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
