butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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