and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When did we convert life to cartoon?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
