you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize