uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm always down for nudity.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
