i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize