I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
