your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize