Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
