...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
