The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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