Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
