is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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