Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
