Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
