What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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