at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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