do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
